Community Corner
How to Raise a Child To Do Good? Get Involved Yourself
Whiz Kids are all around the community, and we want to hear about them and honor them for their accomplishments. But how do you help your own child to become one?
This column will explore ways to help your own child become a Whiz Kid by giving to the community. Do you know a Whiz Kid?
Colin just received a scholarship for his volunteer work. Justin is getting a presidential service award for his community service. Robin wants to skip presents at her birthday party and just have the guests bring money for a cause.
Are those your children? On the other end of the spectrum, one area mom says she can’t get her son to participate in any volunteer work unless it’s with friends and only if required. One dad said his son told him that joining clubs is for geeks. For many children, the favorite day of the year is their birthday because of “all those gifts.”
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Wherever your child is on the “sense-of-purpose” scale, raising empathetic and motivated children requires a lot of parental guidance, say area counselors, teachers and community activists. But turning out dedicated community supporters is one of the most worthwhile things parents can do for their children.
It’s challenging but doable, experts say, and the effort will help your children develop responsibility and good character.
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Young givers
“To get your kids involved in community projects, start at a young age,” said Carol Mastroianni, executive director of the Birmingham Bloomfield Community Coalition, which is based in the in Bloomfield Hills. “Find things your kids are interested in, things you can do together as a family.”
Mastroianni cites simple projects, such as a neighborhood cleanup or helping at a community or school garden, as a few easy ways to get involved.
“If your child is shy, bring them to a food bank and let them sort cans,” she said. And keep in mind community theater groups. “I used to take my children to (the Baldwin Theatre) in Royal Oak when they were very young, and they’d help quite a bit.”
For the very young, talk to them about how they can help the less fortunate, said Sara Chase, a clinical psychologist at Rochester Hills-based Abaris Behavioral Health. Chase works with children and adolescents and often suggests that her clients get involved in community activities.
“Consider smaller tasks,” Chase said, “like cleaning their rooms and donating things they don’t need.”
Start early, but it's never too late
Ideally, parents teach values, compassion and a sense of community through their examples and by doing things with their children, beginning at an early age.
Grandmother, parent and retired Detroit art teacher Linda Logan says role modeling is essential.
“Young kids are hard-wired to learn the ways of the world, which means copying adults,” said Logan, a Huntington Woods resident who volunteers at the in Ferndale. “Older kids — say, 8-12 (years of age) — need companionship. They're learning that they can do things wrong, so 'fear of failure' sets in.”
Unfortunately, parents don’t always have the time to orchestrate such family interests and outings when their children are young. It’s all they can do to hold jobs, shuttle their children to school activities and ensure there’s a healthful meal on the table at night. Many busy moms and dads admit that they flat-out did not make community work a priority when their children were in grade school.
No worries, say the experts. It’s never too late to get children involved, and teenagers are a perfect age group for volunteer service. It’s how you go about motivating them that will determine if they’re up for jumping in.
“Adolescents are at a stage where their interests shift to friends, fun, competition and belonging,” Chase said. At this age, she suggests considering something such as a fundraising car wash or bottle drive, where the money is used to improve a local park or to purchase items for those less fortunate. This way, they can have fun with friends (always a teenage priority) and increase their sense of belonging.
“The result is a compassionate effort, a better sense of connectedness and belonging to something greater than yourself,” Chase explained.
Longtime teacher Logan says to always remember that teens need to be respected.
“Whatever you plan,” said Logan, “tell them up front and let them have some say in it.”
Peers and pals
Friendship was the lure for Kaitlyn Krizanic, 17, who became involved with the Birmingham Bloomfield Community Coalition nearly four years ago.
“One of my friends was going to a Community Coalition meeting, and I had nothing better to do so went along with her,” Krizanic recalled. “I met so many nice people and from there just started to get more involved. It definitely helps to have a friend when you start with these programs.”
Krizanic is now a member of the coalition’s Youth Action Board (YAB). This past December, the student planned a YAB gift-wrapping fundraiser at in Birmingham. Raising about $300 for coalition programs, Krizanic and her friends spent 12 hours total wrapping shoppers’ gift purchases at Borders.
The Birmingham Bloomfield Coalition’s YAB comprises students who help create a campaign and messaging effort to prevent substance abuse among their peers.
“The kids go out to the community and make presentations,” director Mastroianni explained. YAB also works with the Birmingham Principal Shopping District on such projects as summer movie nights at Booth Park and battle of the bands at The Community House.
What’s your passion?
Stuck on what cause to get involved with?
Mastroianni’s 12-year-old daughter, who attends Derby Middle School in Birmingham, loves to read, so the was the perfect spot for volunteering for her.
“She loves books, kids, the library, so she’s enjoyed volunteer experiences there,” said Mastroianni.
Oftentimes, children want to help other children who are their age. event, co-chaired by Connie Beckett of Troy and Kelly Shuert of Bloomfield Hills, is a perfect way to get children involved.
Hosted by The Children's Charities Coalition (comprising four nonprofit organizations based in Oakland County: CARE House, , Orchards Children’s Services and Variety The Children’s Charity), the event requests that each walker raise at least $75, which benefits children served by the coalition.
“We have found that the kids who participate in the walk are members of their school band, swim team, choral group, etc.,” said Gigi Nichols, communications director for The Community House.
“They love volunteering with their friends, and peer recruitment works well,” she said.
